Halsey is reflecting on the last decade of their life.
A week before the “Without Me” singer is set to celebrate their 28th birthday, they penned a message on social media, admitting that—despite their height of fame—they too feel sad and lonely at times.
“I find that often there is a deep sadness inside me that no amount of worldly pleasure can touch, a loneliness, an emptiness,” the singer wrote on their Instagram Stories Sept. 21. “I wonder often if I chose the wrong life for myself. And the weight of it is suffocating. I’m sorry that melancholy has penetrated my art in a way that hasn’t served a greater purpose other than my own self loathing.”
Halsey then wrote that as they approach their birthday, they are “just now exhaling and gasping for air for the first time since I took a single breath in this new life at 18.”
They continued, “I am wandering lawlessly and I hope to find my way somewhere meaningful soon so that I can give you the guys I’ve always known to scoop heapings of into your ears. They are shriveling lately. If you cannot be kind, at least be gentle. With love.”